The luckiest girl in the world....

I'm the farthest I've ever been from home,
but I'm here with him.
These moments make this whole thing worth it.

I have tried to start this post so many times.

It is really hard. I still don't know what to think about it or how I should react. On the one hand I want to support him and encourage him because in my brain I know that this is the best time for something like this to come up and if he gets it over-with then he can say no the next time. But, my emotional side wants to cry and yell and scream and have an emotional breakdown like I did on that drunken night that Eric, Emily, Noodle, and Shannon were in the park with me and I cried and cried and cried.


Keith was told last month that he is on the TDY list for the middle east.

Already I am disappointed in myself about this blog

And again, I am making it about me. It's not about me. It's supposed to be about us.
*sigh* I guess it expresses my disconnection I've had with us lately. With so many things going on...me in school, his PT test and computer...we've just been....busy.
And it's not like we don't talk. We do...but, it's the distance I'm sure. I love being with him.
Like today...I was at my grandma's house for dinner, so he went out to lunch with his friends. Then when we both got back online, it was only 5 min before they had to take off again.
no a big deal....I just hope we get to talk more soon.
This distance makes me so bummed out sometimes.

But, it's all worth it.

the Challenge has taken over

I've just stared the 101 in 1001 challenge ^_^
I'm REALLY excited about it.
More tomorrow. <3

Getting confrontational!!!

If anyone reads this, I'd love to hear your opinion of whether I make a valid point or not. I was livid to say the least.

Lately I've been getting involved in this great site:
http://www.militaryissuedgirlfriends.com

it's fun and supportive and has women of all levels of military involvement, not just girlfriends...
but anyways, I had an intro post and a girl posted to me a seemingly normal greeting:
Her: Heyy! I'm Anna and my BF is in the air force too, he's been in for almost 8 years. I'm actually in Korea right now with him for a few months til we PCS to florida- he's stationed at osan. Is your BF still here? did you ever get a chance to visit here? Welcome to MIG! :]

ok...normal
Me:no, I wasn't able to visit Osan, but he is really excited about me visiting his new base in Japan. He switched last month.
and thanks! ^_^

Her:ooh japan fun.
well you didn't miss much by not visiting, lol. well.... a lot of bars, haha. but thats it...

I figure I could bring up something we could commiserate on, being girls with big hearts, eh?
Me: that's what he said, too. And I'm not really drinking age yet so ....yeah lol
my heart bleeds for the "juicys" though...those poor girls!! starting so young!

her response? a little snarky if you ask me!
Her:I'm not drinking age yet either haha (well here in Korea, I am. but not in the states). but they don't card, so yeah...

I don't feel sorry for the juice girls, they are REALLY annoying. It's sad they don't really have a future but honestly, I think they are the most annoying human beings I have ever come across, no joke.

my response (which I later edited with the strike-out and sneaking around bit...you'll see why in a min):
Me: heh still...most of them started that lifestyle at the age of 14. It's just wrong. I'm glad my boyfriend's TSGT wouldn't tolerate his shop getting involved with them. I know there were some single guys in his shop that were <strikeout>dying to try itstrikeout> sneaking around and trying not to get caught.

then she crosses a line....a HUGE line
her: Not trying to say your boyfriend is wrong, but I have been here for only a few days and I have already met plenty of dudes, E5, E6 and up who get involved with juices. My boyfriend is a SSGT and so the people he hangs out with are all higher rank for the most part, and a lot of them (read: most of them) get involved with juices when they're not at work and everybodys drunk. It's just part of the life here, it doesn't matter what rank you are. Yeah it is frowned upon by the entire air force, but it still happens, a lot, a lot, a lot. don't let what your boyfriend says fool you, it's not true.

and it's not just single guys either. my bf is usually honest about these things, and he pointed out at least 5 or 10 guys when we were on base the other day who are married or have serious girlfriends in the states but get involved with juices.

Just sayin. :]

DID I JUST READ WHAT I THOUGHT I READ?
"don't let what your boyfriend says fool you, it's not true."

WOAH WOAH WOAH
NO
YOU
DIDN'T

"not true" means "false" amirite? to be "false" is to lie, amirite?
SHE JUST ACCUSED KEITH OF LYING TO MY FACE!!!!!!!!

Needless to say this was my response (the disclaimer was added after I wrote it and had had a few min to calm down)
Me:

***DISCLAIMER***
I didn't mean for this to be this long or this...confrontational. Please take it with a grain of salt. I have been dealing with similar issues regarding my relationship with Keith with a lot of people I care about, and I think the following rant is more aimed at them and not as much at you...though you definitely sparked it.
******

DON'T EVER call Keith a liar.
I'm sorry but that is the thing that pisses me off the most; someone making assumptions of him that are totally and completely un-true.

Let me re-phrase my previous post so that it's clear that I was giving people, airman and juicy alike, the benefit of the doubt and am NOT under the false delusions that people so quickly assume I am in.
1) I know that a juicy is a prostitute that is a common facet of entertainment in a good percentage of Korean bars. They are everywhere. Most of them started when they were too young to need to know what sex is. Most of them are carrying some form of STD. Some are known for having US military "boyfriends" who are actually just frequent customers. I know this from talking to Keith about it.
2) I know there are Airmen, who would normally be considered "good guys" who have wives and parents and girlfriends back home who genuinely love them, who are involved with or have been involved with a juicy/s. I know because Keith was decent friends with some of them. I know one almost lost his American girlfriend over it and another guy in the shop contracted syphilis from one encounter though I'm sure it wasn't the last. I know this from talking to Keith about it.
3) I know his shop's TSGT did not tolerate involvement with them. If he found any kind of proof via internet or photos that one of his guys did, then there would be consequences, though obviously that didn't stop them. Most of the time they just wouldn't bring it up when he was around and he would turn a blind eye to the issue. I know this from talking to Keith about it.
4) I know Keith has been into juicy bars. His friends would meet at certain ones. He has talked to a juicy for a bit because his friend asked her to their table, but when he was more interested in asking her questions about her lifestyle than letting her do her normal job, she got uncomfortable and went to a different customer. I know this because I TALK TO KEITH ABOUT IT.

Do you see the trend? We talk. All the time, every day. It doesn't matter what time or what topic. We talk about it all. Long before he joined the Air Force we decided that if this long distance thing was going to work there needed to be no secrets between us. None. Ever.
I trust him, he trusts me. That's the way we are. Period.

Wow....that was a lot more than I expected to write. That is the biggest rant I think I've written in a long time. Thank you.





....but yeah...we'll see how this goes

Here I am

In my room. Indie music playing. Ready to clean. Gotta get it done...... *sigh*
I'm just not feeling it. I was all ready to, too. Then my class was canceled and I got caught up with Keith and the monitor arrived and grandma called and I finished reading the other blog I was into...

...I don't wanna clean my room. I like to pretend that if I leave our mess then he's not really gone again. His socks and t-shirts are all over. Our Christmas goodies are stashed everywhere. And now the gigantic compy screen is laying on my bed...he's gotta come get that, right?
sidenote: I decided that when we have our own place someday, we will get pans that fit into the sink so that I can soak them. Today's dish-washing was such a pain.

oh and I suck at lighting matches. I got a new candle, but the matches in the little matchbook I had just won't light for me. :/ maybe I'll borrow some decent wood ones from grandma tonight until I can buy myself a lighter thing.
wait! I did it! After about a 1/2 a book of matches (4 of which ended up lit but dropped into the candle before they were able to do anything) I got the candlewick lit and then promptly dropped the thing into the candle and let it burn for a bit before fishing it out with tweezers >_> yes I'm a scaredy cat :P But, at least now my room might smell like strawberry-rhubarb pie ^_^

See? I taught myself something new today.

would you look at that...

.....ah screw it.
I will write more and as much as I have time for. But today was the first day of class and Keith's scheduale is a ll funky and we were talking and his friend was in the room and...well now it's 0:38 and the second day I didn't write like I said I would.
.....bother.
So I will write, but I will not beat myself silly trying to keep up with the days.
116 by the way...I thought you would like to know.
Until we have an actual date set, this will be my guesstimate.
but for now...sleeps.

Soon we will be together again.